Dark Eyes and Red Blankets
by sue-sylvester-shuffle
Summary: (AU of 3x11) Chandler wakes up, hungover, after Joey's birthday party. He remembers fooling around with someone in the storage room, someone with dark hair. He decides that it must have been one of Joey's sisters, but what if he's thinking of the wrong Tribbiani? (CHANOEY. Some sexual content.)


**AN: **This is an AU of "The One Where Chandler Can't Remember Which Sister", season three, episode eleven. It also contains some dialogue from that episode. WARNING: this fic has some sexual content but NOT explicit! (I can't write smut. It makes me really uncomfortable!) Anyway, enjoy! 

Chandler woke up on the cold floor of the bathroom of his apartment and wondered briefly if he had died. His entire body ached, especially his head. It felt like someone was rhythmically smashing a sledgehammer into his head, to the tune of his weak heartbeat. With a mumbling groan, he rolled over and pushed himself up onto his hands and knees.

He was only wearing a pair of boxers. For a few painful seconds, Chandler wasn't sure what had happened the previous day. But a pile of wrapping paper and bows tied to the shower curtain reminded him. _Joey's birthday party. _Right. He could remember flashes of his night, but never a full scene; feeling abandoned and alone after seeing Janice, filling the gaping hole she'd left with Jell-o shots at Joey's party, being lost in a large group of Joey's near identical sisters, and then bumping unceremoniously up against boxes in the storage room, wearing less than he should have been, with _someone. _Someone. He couldn't remember who. All he remembered about his mysterious friend was their light skin, a startling contrast against dark black hair and dark eyes. _Must have been one of Joey's sisters then, _thought Chandler with a sigh. But a little voice inside of him was telling him that he was wrong, that it hadn't been one of Joey's sisters. He ignored that voice.

Upon leaving the bathroom, Chandler grabbed one of his overlarge shirts and pulled it on before stumbling across the street to Monica and Rachel's. He tried their door- it was open, as always- and entered. Their lights were on brighter than his and Joey's, and the smell of breakfast was threatening to make him hurl. He groaned again and went straight for their pitcher of juice.

"How are you feeling?" asked Monica.

"Well, my apartment isn't there anymore, 'cause I _drank _it."

Phoebe grinned. "Where'd you get to? We lost you after you opened up all the presents."

"Yeah." This was Ross.

_Charming_. Chandler hadn't recalled that part of the evening. "Yeah, I ended up in the storage room. And not alone." he admitted. Through the haze of his awful hangover, he felt a twinge of shame.

"Wooohooo!" exclaimed Monica, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel. Their high-pitched voices brought a sharp pain to Chandler's head. The sledgehammer had a blade now.

"Ow. No woohooing, no woohooing." he snapped. Not only did it hurt, but if he _had _fooled around with one of Joey's sisters, he was dead. Joey would probably murder him. He didn't deserve woohooing.

"Why, what happened?" asked Phoebe.

Chandler sighed. "I fooled around with Joey's sister." he confessed. Phoebe gave a little gasp. "Well, that's not the worst part." he added.

"What is the worst part?" asked Monica suspiciously.

Chandler grimaced. "I can't remember which sister."

Ross turned to Rachel. "You see what men do? Don't tell me men are nice. _This _is men!" he exclaimed. Chandler barely remembered the context of their little quarrel. It didn't bother him at all. He had his own problems to deal with.

"Are you _insane?_" asked Monica, standing up from the table. "I mean, Joey's going to kill you! He's actually going to kill you _dead._"

Frustration welled up inside Chandler. "Okay! You don't think I thought of that!?" He left where he was standing and went over to the couch where he stood, awkward and gangly in his too-big shirt.

"How can you not know which one?" Phoebe pressed him.

"I mean, it's unbelievable!" Rachel went on.

"Was it Gina?" asked Monica.

"Which one is Gina?" This was Ross.

"The dark, big hair with the airplane earrings." Rachel told him.

"No, that's not Gina. That's Dina." Monica corrected them. Typical Monica.

"You see?" Chandler exclaimed. "You can't tell which is which either!"

"But we didn't fool around with any of them!" Phoebe reminded him.

Chandler rubbed his forehead. His whole body ached. All of a sudden, a memory uncovered itself, picked itself up, and shook off all of the vodka he'd doused it in. Red. A red skirt. "Look- Veronica. It's gotta be Veronica, the girl in the red skirt. I definitely stuck my tongue down her throat."

Monica raised her eyebrows. "That was me."

_Oh, holy shit. _Chandler loathed himself. "Oh… look, when I've been drinking, sometimes I tend to get a little overly friendly, and I'm sorry."

"That's okay." said Monica.

"That's all right." said Rachel. _Two for two, _Chandler thought. _Remind me to punish my stupid overconfident tongue later. Hot sauce, anyone?_

"That's okay." said Ross. _Oh my God, _Chandler thought. He mentally slapped himself in the face. Repeatedly.

His horror over having kissed Ross didn't last, though, because a few seconds later, the door banged open and Joey entered. Chandler braced himself, but Joey didn't look angry. "Can I talk to you for a second?" he asked his roommate.

"Hey, Joey." said Ross.

"Hey." added Rachel. She, Ross, Monica, and Phoebe all got up and walked away from him. _Traitors, _thought Chandler bitterly. He wondered absentmindedly if Joey would actually beat him up. He was as weak as he looked, and would crumple like wet paper if he got punched.

Joey beckoned to Chandler. "Come on." There was a look in his eyes that Chandler definitely didn't like. It wasn't anger, but… it was definitely _something. _He couldn't put his finger on it.

"Why can't we talk in here?" he asked. "With _witnesses?_"

"I really think we should talk in the hall." Joey was eying the other four, who were standing in front of the fridge and trying not to gawk at the scene unfolding in front of them like a flock of birds.

"I really think we should talk in here." countered Chandler.

"Well, okay." Joey shrugged. "Uh, I don't know if _you _remember what happened last night, but-"

"I'm sorry!" Chandler exclaimed. "I-I was drunk, and I didn't know what I was doing. If you're mad, I totally get it."

"No, Chandler, I'm not mad." Joey said, eyebrows raised. "I had fun. And it doesn't have to mean anything if you don't want it to. Promise. I know how weird you are about that kinda stuff. I just want to know what you're thinking."

"You… _you _had fun?" Chandler asked incredulously. He strained his memory. _Red… _no, it hadn't been on a skirt… what else had been red? A blanket. Yes… a blanket. On the floor of the storage room. He'd pulled it out of one of the boxes. But who had he been lying with? "What happened last night?"

Joey glanced briefly at Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel before speaking, turning back to his roommate. "Well, uh… after you opened up all the presents, you said you wanted to show me something. I went with you. You brought me down to the storage room and, uh, started undressing."

Over by the fridge, Rachel let out a laugh. Chandler, on the other hand, was quickly filling up with icy cold dread. Could it really have been _Joey _he had fooled around with? The light skin and dark hair he remembered… it had been a Tribbiani, he had been right about that. He just had the wrong Tribbiani. No, he hadn't slept with any of Joey's sisters. Could he really have slept with… _Joey?_

What a way for Joey to find out that Chandler liked him a little too much.

Having a crush on a close friend is strange. It comes and it goes. Sometimes, they're really just a friend to you, and you can forget about your feelings. If you've come to terms with it, like Chandler had, it's easy to let those feelings slip under the radar. Then, they do something- laugh, smile, say something, or maybe you just hear someone else _talking_ about them- and it's enough to bring you right back. Chandler hadn't thought of Joey that way in weeks, but clearly, when he was drunk, it had been prevalent in his mind.

"What happened next?" asked Chandler weakly.

"Oh, uh, I thought you would be able to imagine what came next." Joey said. "We had sex. So, I guess what you wanted to show me was your-"

"Okay!" Chandler exclaimed. He risked a glance at the others. Monica and Rachel both had their hands over their mouths in shock, though Monica looked horrified and Rachel looked amused; Phoebe was grinning; and Ross looked as if someone had just punched him in the stomach. _Damn those judgemental Gellers, _thought Chandler. "That's enough of that, Joe."

Joey crossed his arms. "I told you we should have gone into the hallway."

"Yeah, I-I get it, but I thought it was your sister I had fooled around with, and I thought you were going to start beating me up!"

"What? You fooled around with my sister, too?" Joey looked- and sounded- outraged.

"No! I couldn't really remember anything from yesterday, and I _thought _I remembered making out with your sister, but…" Chandler shrugged. "I guess I just had the wrong Tribbiani in mind." It made sense, of course. The more he thought about it, the dark hair he remembered hadn't been long. It had been short, but just long enough for him to lose his fingers in. It _had _been Joey pushing him up against those boxes, he was sure of it. But what did that mean for the two of them now?

"Why don't we take this back to our place?" suggested Joey.

Before Chandler could even open his mouth, Phoebe and Rachel started _woohoo_ing again. "No. No, stop it. He meant to _talk!_" snapped Chandler, his face feeling hot.

Joey nodded sheepishly. "Yeah."

The two of them left Monica and Rachel's. As soon as the door of the guys' apartment had closed behind them, Chandler collapsed into his recliner, groaning. "God, Joey, I am so stupid. And hungover. And pathetic. I… I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry, man?" Joey frowned. "Was it _that _bad?"

"What? I don't remember much of 'it'." hissed Chandler. "It's just... This is weird."

"Really? I kind of got the feeling you wanted this to happen." Joey remarked.

Chandler's chest tightened. Joey had always been able to read him like a big, _gay_ book. "_No_. And even if I _had_-" He debated whether he was being stupid by including this part. Well, he could always blame it on the hangover. "-I wouldn't have wanted it to go like this."

"Really?" To his horror, Joey looked intrigued. "How _would_ you have wanted it to go, then, Chan?"

"Um... Uh..." Chandler hadn't thought ahead that far. God, he just kept digging graves for himself. "Well, uh... If I had to think about it, I'd say... I would buy a huge pizza and a bunch of beer so at least if I told you I loved you and you shot me down, you wouldn't be able to hate me, 'cause I brought pizza. Then I would put on Baywatch, and when the girls were running I would be all, 'hey, Joe, I have something to tell you'. Then-"

"Then I would say, 'what is it, Chandler'?" supplied Joey.

Chandler pursed his lips, very unsure of whether to continue. "Uh, then I would say, 'I really like you. More than I should'."

"Everyone likes me more than they should. I'm great." Joey said, grinning.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Chandler chuckled. "But, uh, are you sure you want me to go on? It's weird. I mean, it's _you._"

"If you thought it was weird, you wouldn't have already said all that stuff." Joey reminded him. "Also, you're talkin' all about you telling me you loved me when all I asked about was the sex."

_Oh, holy shit._ Chandler's face felt like it was on fire. "I-I didn't... I mean, I don't want... oh, screw it. I _do_ like you, Joey, I like you a lot. I can't believe we had sex and I don't really remember any of it. You probably want nothing to do with me now, because everything is just a goddamn one night stand to you. But I'm a stupid, pathetic idiot who is totally in love with you. So please make it easy for both of us and just tell me now. Do you still want me, or did you just want me last night 'cause I was drunk and vulnerable and willing to screw you in the frickin' storage room?!"

His voice had escalated by the end of his sentence. Joey raised his arms in a submissive way. "Hey, Chandler, I told you I had fun last night. I always have fun with you. That's why last night was so great. I mean, I always heard you and Janice doin' it from my bedroom, and I always wondered how good you were. Now I know." He smiled cheekily, and Chandler's heart ached. _He's perfect,_ thought Chandler bitterly. _How is he so perfect?!_

"So... you thought I was good?" he asked rather incredulously. That was like one of the Knicks telling him he was good at basketball.

"Yeah. And, hey... if you really don't remember much of last night, I'd be willing to show you the live version." Joey waggled his eyebrows.

"Is that your way of asking me to do you? Joey, that was awful." Despite how cheesy his roommate's words were, they still made Chandler feel funny somewhere below the baggy waistline of his boxers. He crossed his legs, feeling hot and uncomfortable.

"So... is that a no?" asked Joey.

"Are you kidding me? Of course I want to do you." Chandler said, leaning forward. Who was he to resist such an opportunity?

Joey grinned, leaning in as well. "That line always works."

"Oh my God, how many drunk chicks have you banged?" asked Chandler, and then paused. "I can't believe I just asked that question." All of a sudden, he remembered something, and pulled away. "Wait! You never answered _my_ question. Do you want to be with me?"

"I thought we were about to do that."

"I don't mean the sex, you idiot. I mean dating and stuff. A _real_ relationship. Do you want to be my..." Chandler played the words over in his head and groaned. The word _boyfriend_ sounded like he was a fourteen-year-old girl with a crush. It didn't fit Joey in the least. "Oh, this is gonna sound cheesy as hell... Um, do you want to be my... my..."

"Your boyfriend?" A wide, genuine smile spread across Joey's face. "Of course I do, Chan. Last night was so great. I really hoped we would end up together, like this."

An enormous buildup of stress and anxiety faded away blissfully inside of Chandler. _Thank God_, he thought. "Me too. I've liked you for a while now, Joey, but I was just kind of nervous to tell you." he explained.

"Same for me." Joey said. "Now, uh, we were just about to... you know. Do you still want to... you know?"

"Yes, yes, I know what you mean, Joey! I get it, you want to have sex with me." snapped Chandler. He paused then. "I'm not complaining, of course."

"Good." smirked the actor. "I was worried for a sec there."

He put his hands on either side of Chandler's neck. Chandler wrapped his arms around Joey's waist. Their lips met, and it was like fireworks were going off in Chandler's head, bright red _resolved_ sexual tension against an indigo sky. Oh, how good it felt to finally kiss Joey. He'd only thought about it a couple hundred times. Minimum.

Joey's hands slipped away from his neck. A few seconds later, Chandler realized that Joey was working his baggy shirt off. Chandler pulled it over his head, threw it away from them, and started on Joey's shirt.

"I'm glad we decided to take it to our place. Don't think Monica and Rachel would've liked us doing this in their place." mumbled Chandler as he fought to get Joey's shirt over his head. "You have a _really_ big head, man."

"Not the only part of me that's really big." Joey promised between kisses. His hands were warm on Chandler's bare skin.

Chandler made some sort of noise that was somewhere between a laugh and a groan. Anticipation was rendering him useless and giddy. He tossed Joey's shirt on the ground and put his hands back on Joey's sides. He was impressed. Of course he had seen Joey shirtless before, they lived together, but he had never really _touched_ him. The Italian actor was muscular, firm, and honestly looked like a statue of some Greek god. For a moment Chandler wondered why someone as attractive as Joey was busy making out with someone like him. He was lanky, awkward-looking, _had three nipples_ for Pete's sake, and was honestly too flabby for how thin he was.

"You look good." said Joey, looking Chandler up and down.

"What? Have you seen _yourself_?" asked Chandler incredulously. "Don't even try. Face it, I have an endearing personality and not much else."

Joey shrugged. "I dunno. I like you. Would I be trying to undress you right now if all you had was a good personality?"

"Hopefully." responded Chandler.

"All right." The other man chuckled. "Can we stop talking now? Little Joey is getting impatient."

"By all means."

Joey's hands curled around the waistband of Chandler's boxer shorts. Chandler tucked his fingers into the belt loops of Joey's jeans. Their lips met again, and Chandler forgot all about his hangover, waking up in the bathroom, and their friends in the apartment across the hall. All that mattered was Joey. Him and Joey. He had had feelings for his roommate for some time. Finally, he was getting his way.

Not a lot of good things happened to Chandler Bing, but this was definitely one of them.

end!


End file.
